So… I decided to make a commitment…to myself, for myself.  Then…everything started happening…and not in a good way!!!???  I sit…I think…I relax… I ponder… Am I responsible for what happens to me?  Is my old blueprint that strong…that ruthless…that powerful, to really create the situations that are happening to me in an attempt to keep me…or delay me, from following my heart and creating my new blueprint…recreating myself?

I become anxious.  I want change…I want things to change faster than they are… but, I must practice the art of patience for nature acts never in haste.  Its hard when you make it a step forward and then it feels like you slide back three.  Sometimes I wonder what’s the use?  It feels like the chips are stacked against me….but it’s the little wins that keep me going.  It’s my future self that won’t let me quit.  I know in my heart that this is what I must do.  I have come too far to not stay committed to this journey.

I have re-engaged with trying to figure out what I want.  I can still hear Mark…. What    Do    You    Want?  It’s hard.  It’s even harder to get my Definite Major Purpose into words…again.  Have you ever wanted something so much and everything you do seems to push that which you want further away?  *sigh*  It can only last so long…the resistance.  Sooner or later somethings gotta give….and I’m too valuable…my future self is too valuable to give up at this point.  Back to my reads, my sits and my cards…  Looking for that next bit of sunshine…next bit of shining gold to peak out from under the cement and boost me again.

8 thoughts on “2017-Week02-WTH?”

  1. Hey Rip good to see your thoughtful comments. Your last sentence of your post is what you gotta focus on. The other stuff is replaying old movies in your mind. And absolutely figure out what YOU WANT.

  2. I see the gold Mark!! Really! And the light that’s radiating is getting bigger while I’m writing. For I feel that through you’re questioning you’re hitting it, you’re cracking the cement decisively.
    And as l write l also write about myself. For I am faced with the same question what do you really want) in week 3!! My DMP doesn’t sound real to me yet (to be honest it rather sounds alien to me). And I wonder what’s wrong with me? How can I have lost this natural capability, this innate connection to my self and the Universe?… To experience the journey back to it, I know, but that’s so much additional unnecessary work… Lets enjoy it instead:)

    1. Yes Sophie. One must question in an effort to find truth. No matter how many questions need to be answered, knowing that as we ask we create even more. It is with the more that we can celebrate…and enjoy 😉 Thanks for sharing. Rip

  3. Hi Rip
    It is hard to not listen to that voice in our head telling us that we don’t need to do this but this is our old blueprint. We must be gentle with ourselves and do the small things to change our blueprint and then things become clearer. Keep it up you are worth it!

  4. This is Deb…I’ll be your blog rover for the next few weeks…

    This quote from your blog really hit home to me “and I’m too valuable…my future self is too valuable to give up at this point.” So…thought from me…what if you stopped worrying about not getting stuff done…when you sit…see yourself shining, helping others, succeeding…what does that feel like?…what are you doing? Then write that DMP

    You’re on the right path…Way to go!

    Welcome to the MKE being born anew vineyard!


    1. Wow Deb! Thanks! Yes…worrying about not getting stuff done. What a great observation and calling me out! Love it! …I will work on not worrying about that anymore. …Feels like I won the Stanley Cup!!! I’m helping people buy their debt back… putting them back in control of their own money… Gratefully, Rip

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