So many things have happened… are happening… continue to happen… and I am just clinging onto the handlebars of my journey… my new life. There are days when I just have to climb into my cave, my den, my rabbit hole… and screeeeeam “TIME OUT!!!”… I need time for me! I need time to unpack all that has happened… to take the responsibility that I am creating this new reality and EVERYTHING IS IN MY CONTROL! Everything is coming from the world within… MY world within! So I need some time to concentrate my thoughts and get my sh!t together… to create the plan to follow… Phew… Silence. Quiet. Peace.
Today was an emotional roller coaster for me. I am going to commit it to my long term memory and put a bookmark in it… to remember. What a great place to put this bookmark… right here!
You see, today touched me… deep in my heart. While I know the old me would have seen this as more of a negative… red pencil day… the more the new me went deeper into examining today and its message from the universe to me… I slowly began to realize how I have learned to think different about situations as they present themselves to me! I am so grateful for my new ability… no… my uncovered powers, to not only translate or recognize situations differently… looking for the good and the right and the opportunity, but to now know and understand that I am the creator of the situation that I am now interpreting. Is it the universe trying to communicate with me? Is it the calling of my heart that I am starting to hear… again…?
I received a text this morning explaining that someone had thought about something I said… oh heck… #1 “…. I know I was really negative about … stuff at …’s. It is a side effect of being overwhelmed. But, I’ve been chewing on what you said when we/I said we didn’t want to have a wedding. You said “thank you”. And I didn’t know what to say at first, but now I understand! I just want to say thank you for being kind enough to have that response instead of validating our feelings. That’s really cool and it has changed my perspective!”
My two favorite words…. Awareness and Perspective… and now I have had the pleasure of manifesting a positive changed perspective for someone I love! Capital W. O. W! I feel so happy… so fulfilled… so grateful… words just can’t justify my hearts feelings… and then #2 “… I’m grateful that you are VERY easy going” … wait… what??? Did I just get called “VERY easy going” ??? Who am I? “… they know me not,” …heck I don’t know me not…lol… “for today I am a new man, with a new life.” Yeah baby!
Last night I came across a video from my favorite Pastor Jim. It was one of those sermons that I just wish I could have been sharing with … well EVERYONE! I sent it to a special someone that I know was… is, going through a really hard time. The response I got back was “You always seem to have just what I need when I need it! Thanks!” That made my heart sing… again. So I called her after getting this text and something that I picked up on a year or two ago that I kinda wanted to do presented itself to me again. She, like I, go into what we call dark mode. Sometimes just a bit, but other times to the deepest, darkest hole we can find. She was there… dark… and this time deep. This person reached out to me. Shared her feelings of quitting… giving up… and OMG… ME TOO!
I loved the group analogy Pastor Jim had shared a few years ago, and then again in this video, that we learn in rows, we grow in circles. We believe that living life and linking arms in a safe “me too” group is the best environment… the best environment to create. A safe haven, an environment with no judgement… a safe harbor… a shoulder to lean on or to cry on… ears to listen and hearts to share and support. I want to be a part of a group like this. I want to help!
I was on my way to an appointment while I was on this call and pulled over to give the situation my full attention. It horrified me and then filled my heart with gratitude as I was able to get her to actually laugh before hanging up. As I entered my appointment, horror once again began to overcome me as this women explained that she was in a horrible, frustrating, ready to quit… ready to give up, mood. 🙁 She had pulled herself back up and out of the horrific funk she fell into, but the story was the same… just a different person. How many others are like this? What can I do to help? Can I help? Do I want to help? Who will help if I don’t? Am I hearing my heart calling? Will I answer the call?
YES… Yes I will help. Yes I want to help. Yes, I want to at least start down the road of creating my group and seeing what happens from there. I’m going into a sit to see what I can manifest… and what the universal mind… or the spirit… or God has to share with me. I Believe